And I can't sleep...

You know I definitely hate when you can't get to sleep. You lie in bed, teeth are brushed, and you're ready to hit REM. But it's just not coming together for you. And more often then not it's because certain memories of the day, or stray thoughts creep in, and just stop you from getting a blissful nights sleep.

For me, it's the former and not the latter.

I wish I could elaborate as to the hows or whys, but I really can't. I guess what I can say is that I friend of mine at work, she expressed once to me that she worries for me. She said, "Ben you're such a nice guy, always willing to help, I just worry that people will take advantage of that..."

And I guess I wonder if that is happening now. Again not going to comment as to what aspect of my life I am feeling this in... But yea, those of you closest to me know that I tend over-analyze, and over-think things a lot, I mean A LOT. Credit that to an overactive imagination or my fantasical powers of deduction :-), you choose. That said, it's entirely possible that all this is all in my head. But that's the rub, right? Imagination or not, it can be a little daunting, you know, the whole idea of "what if?"

So there it is. As ambiguous as that is. I sit here, unable to sleep, wondering. Wondering if I am being taken advantage of, wondering others are benefiting from my efforts in life. I sit and wonder what that "next" step is.

But as I sit in disarray I find myself REALLY wanting this:



Yes ladies and gentlemen, it is a Spice Gun, you literally load spice bullets in the chamber, and blast your food by pulling the trigger. But sadly it's the great pain of my life knowing I will never own this, as it's merely the result of a entry into a concept design competition in Asia... sigh.

Source: Engadget