Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Changes for the New Year?

I will not call these the dreaded "R" word... but as this year comes to a close, definitely thinking about changes I need to make, and some that I want to make, in the new year. But people always like reading these, right? So here we go:

  1. Get/Keep on a regular sleep schedule so I can do a better job of getting to work early, or more on time... long story.
  2. Lose weight
  3. Take up an instrument... or 3.
  4. Make more time to make art. Have shows?
  5. Work, AND PUBLISH, a comic. And start the web comic?
  6. Finish the personal sites (FB, YR, Zaz...)
  7. Work on the home... 
  8. Build something of value...
  9. Invest less in people who seem to invest less in me. (I know, that sounds pretty heavy...)
  10. Take things less seriously. Don't let the "EI" run my life paranoid... again, I know, that sounds pretty heavy. :)

Well, that's it... or at least what I can think of off the top of my head. Ten changes. Nice round number. 12 months. Let's see what happens.

-B

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Yup...

Random thought of the day?

Sometimes it's really hard to believe that there's a simple and rational explanation for things. Or I could just be super paranoid?

Wow, almost 2 years...

...since I've posted on this thing?

Well, what's been going on? Well, at the moment, I'm on the East Coast for the annual trek to see family at the Holidays.

But man, I have to tell you this trip has started with a ROUGH start... let's see the day before I left, it snowed. Not a big deal. But in Missouri, the city does a horrible job about the plows, blablabla... long story short, morning I had to leave, definitely underestimated the situation, and there was a lot of ice on the roads, and it took forever to get to the airport.

Well, much longer than what would be the average.

But getting on to airport property, it's becoming more and more clear that I have run out of time to use economy parking, so I make the hard choice to park in terminal parking. The difference? About $18 a day... so that's gonna suck... Doesn't help that part of me is still wondering if I parked straight, or in a spot at all at the airport? The whole lot was covered in snow and ice, so you really couldn't see anything remotely resembling a parking space... but I guess I'll see how that's all gonna shake out when I get back.

But yea, for what felt like almost 12 hours of traveling, it was good to be back East to see family... didn't help though that work was blowing me up the whole way out... and once following up with people, everyone was being evasive... of course I keep telling myself that's all in my head? See there's a medical condition, nothing serious... but I think it can contribute to this paranoia... trying to figure what is what, is always a pain in my ass. But them's the breaks.

Though despite the rough start... one thing I really want right now? I mean, REALLY want right now? Is a smoke. This might sound trivial and childish, my mother knows I smoke.. I just don't like doing it in front of her. And here on day 2 of the trip, missed my window... yes, I think this is what nicotine withdrawral feels like... don't worry no babies on ceilings... though I think I'd really like to see that.

Anyway... as much as I am happy to see family, part of me definitely would like to be back home... but then I start thinking about all this other esoteric bullshit... when then I think goes all the way back to this medical condition... it becomes a weird cycle. Though when I get stuck on this cycle... I can't help but think about an episode of SUPERNATURAL where Dean was going through some shit, and another Hunter was telling him, you got to fake it... you wake up every morning, have your breakfast, yu get dressed, and when you look at yourself in the mirror, you smile. And soon you might start to beleive that smile.

So I guess that's New Year's Resolution Numero Uno - Fake It. Heh, that's a really depressing thought, isn't it?

But yea, fake it. I mean I have so many things to be thankful for. But when it comes to the other shit, that always seems to overshadow everything else at times. Fake it. Ride it out. And lay the chips fall where they may...

...or something like that.

But holy fuck. Do I really want a smoke.